Toni-ann Ballenden Before 2007 | | Art in South Africa
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Alone 1995 | First Gallery Johannesburg

As far back in my life, as I can remember, I had this odd habit of scribbling or tearing my face out of most photographs.

The drawings on this exhibition are drawn in charcoal and pastel on large sheets of 400gram Arches paper. They speak about a deep sadness, an anxiety, and a fear of life, these feelings stem from an emotionally deprived childhood, creating feelings of never being good enough which have stayed with me well into adulthood.

The method that I used when drawing these images, was to first roughly draw the figure in the position that I wanted, then to photograph my model in this position, always using someone who was close to me. I would then work from the photographs, which were often cut up, and re-assembled to create the awkward compositions that I needed to convey the angst.

The hands in the drawings, convey the expression of feelings, that the face would otherwise have shown.

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